Where are you? Can you please prove your existence? I'm worried that you've been missing in action for way too long. Santa Claus at least eats his cookies, and then trails tinsel up through the fireplace. Even the Easter Bunny leaves those cute little chocolate eggs for you to follow to an Easter Basket, and don't forget those oh so hard to find hardboiled eggs. The Tooth Fairy must being getting an awesome exchange rate from the voodoo witch doctors. Hell, at 25 cents/molar, even I'm making a killing!
You obviously are not looking hard enough. I'm in many places and I'll show you that your claims of me being gone are ill-founded:
I was with the bartender that broke down in tears as you left the restaurant this weekend. She was just worried for you, and wants to see you make it home safely from deployment.
I was with your mother as she cried to your father. She felt that she didn't spend enough time with you during your break, but she just wanted to see you happy; spending time with all your friends.
I was with your best friend as she beat herself up over a dilemma. Should she have kissed you or let you leave unnattached as she did. What's the right thing? She's in love with you, and you don't know it.
How about your niece and nephew? They wonder endlessly when their uncle is going to be out of the service. They want to know when Uncle T will be able to make soccer games and family dinners. They have no concept of time at their current age. They just see the absence of you, and they don't like it.
I was also with another friend of yours. Your selfishness left her hurting this weekend. No phone call, no message, not a single mean of communication was awarded to her from you. She is left feeling used and confused all because...
Ok, ok! How can you call it selfishness? I can't help that I'm simply looking for the same thing she is looking to find. I can't help that i don't feel the same way, care the same way, or believe in the same compatibility. I am in love too. Why can't I just win this time?
This is a dangerous game you play...
But it's not a fucking game!
Then be fair. You have to realize that the person you love rationalizes it just the way you do.
I see this, and I'm just considering that maybe I'm not fit to accept it.
Passing denial is just looking at yourself and being honest.
I'm not in denial, I just don't want to lose her.
Time is your soothing passage, and space is your weapon. Remaining friends is the easiest way to regress into your old feelings, and in most cases you will never fully lose those. So be true to yourself, and let go. Find whatever makes you tick, and embrace it.
I accept that I cannot control how someone else feels. I cannot break myself into being someone I'm not just to be loved.
Acceptance is truth. Build great relationships with your friends - be mature enough to accept that we're all human - and above all else, be alert. I'm still here, waiting to throw you into another mix of emotions; whether or not you're ready for it. You control when you hit rock bottom, and you control what effect these emotions have on you. Brace yourself. The rollercoasters just get bigger from here on out. And sometimes it just takes a little bit of looking into what you already have to make things work; to make you believe.