Sunday, February 15, 2009

George W. Bush must take performance enhancing drugs.


Alex Rodriguez used performance enhancing drugs to aid him in his quest to be the absolute best, strongest, fastest baseball player around. Barry Bonds is being subpoenaed by the government over performance enhancing drugs. Performance enhancing drugs. Really? Who’s mad about this? Entertainment? Baseball? Little Johnny’s dad who wants a role model for his son?

I’m not. It’s your prerogative and opinion, and if we’re getting anal retentive about the whole ordeal then let’s hit it on the head. Slap the guys with a controlled substance charge, and get it over with. These guys aren’t criminals, they are entertainers.

Misconceptions? If you honestly think that performance enhancing drugs allow someone to not put forth the effort to achieve what these men have done in their careers, then you’re either ill-informed or worse, an idiot.

Do we look the other way when money is not involved? Do we excuse it when it’s a different playing field? There are thousands of men and women overseas defending our country. There’s rampant performance enhancing drug usage in Iraq and Afghanistan. Do we scrutinize a soldier for wanting to be the strongest and fastest; for wanting to be able to push farther and harder when defending the nation? Sure, it pops up in the news from time to time, but who is making a big deal about it? Nobody.

I don’t see any grand jury indictments or press conferences for Private First Class ‘Roids, who spends his afternoon in the gym. Private ‘Roids patrols out of a fire base at, Middle-of-nowhere, Afghanistan. He works out in a makeshift gym, and uses the one internet satellite connection to order performance enhancing drugs from an out of country distributor online.

Even overseas, the Department of Defense requires the armed forces to submit regular urinalysis information. Private ‘Roids just relieved himself in the little cup without so much of a bead of sweat on his brow. Why? Current urinalysis only tests for specific types of illegal substances, and guess what… performance enhancing drugs don’t fit the bill. Unless there are specific allegations of a soldier openly using performance enhancing drugs, he or she will not be tested for them. The reason? Cost. Soldiers are not important enough to be tested, but if you’re a millionaire sports star, prepare to be on the front page of the Times.

The opinion of these drugs overseas is night and day. If a soldier acquires marijuana overseas from the locals and gets caught, game over. He’s then labeled as untrustworthy, stripped of rank and pay, and will never be seen as responsible. However, if a soldier acquires performance enhancing drugs and is caught with them, he will be seen as “that guy” who was irresponsible and got caught. Leaders will do the mandatory minimum punishment, and no one has a lesser opinion of him beyond that.

Do we continue to look the other way? They need to be treated as equal, or match the legality to the morals. We know cigarettes and alcohol are bad for us, and yet people will still smoke and consume alcohol. No one is chanting for the second prohibition or outlawing the pack of smokes.

I personally spend a fat dollar on supplements to ensure my body has the best possible workout while I’m in the gym. It would be cost effective for me to cave in and have performance enhancing drugs ordered, but for a chance that I may be in major league sports or hold a government office before my time expires – I’ll save myself the trouble.

For everyone else? Get over it.

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